New Hope
CE Notes, September 2002
William
Gaultiere, Ph.D.
WELCOME
Barbara Barrientos,
our Teenline supervisor, was our guest speaker for this class.
She shared her testimony of how she recovered from over 30
years of alcoholism to now be living a sober and healthy Christian
life for the last 6 ˝ years.
In the notes that
follow, in addition to my own thoughts, I'll use some of her
comments and portions of her story to illustrate the problem
of alcoholism and the process of recovery. Thank you for
joining her and I in this New Hope CE class. I trust that it will help you
when you respond to people with alcohol problems or their
loved ones (co-dependents).
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN EXPOSED TO ALCOHOL
ABUSE?
Undoubtedly you have been. Even
if you haven't abused alcohol in your past there's a good
chance that a family member or friend has. Probably you have
talked or chatted with someone who contacted New Hope because
they or a loved one have an alcohol problem. (I am sure this
happens far more then we realize. I hope this class will
help us all to more readily spot alcohol problems in our callers
and chatters.) Certainly, all of us, at one time or another, have been around someone who had too much to drink.
ALCOHOL ABUSE VS DEPENDENCE
Those who abuse alcohol have a problem with drinking too
much and drinking to calm their anxiety, forget their troubles,
or boost their depressed mood. And they may become physically
dependent on alcohol or addicted as alcoholics.
ALCOHOL PROBLEMS ARE COMMON
Alcohol distributors like to use the slogan "Drink responsibly,"
but I wonder if that isn't just for show. I learned in graduate
school that most of the alcohol consumed is by alcoholics
and that typical commercials by those selling alcohol take advantage
of the unrealistic thinking, depressed feelings, loneliness,
and low self-esteem of the alcoholic.
In any case, irresponsible, damaging drinking is common in
our society. Here are some statistics that demonstrate how
widespread alcohol abuse is today in America. This information
is from the "Screening for Mental Health" website as of August
2002 (www.nmisp.org):
- Nearly
14 million Americans have an alcohol disorder
- About
half of adults have a family history of alcoholism or problem
drinking
- 72-74%
of adult drinkers exceed the guidelines for low risk drinking
- 18%
of Americans have a problem with alcohol abuse or alcohol
dependence at some time in their lives
ALCOHOL
ABUSE IN YOUNG PEOPLE
Like many
alcoholics, Barbara started drinking as a teenager and she
loved it. She said, "I was 13 when I had my first drink.
From the first sip I loved the taste and the feeling I got.
When I drank I didn't feel the pain of the child abuse I experienced.
And when I drank I felt brave for cheerleading, singing, and
acting."
As a teen
Barbara thought drinking was fun, going to parties and getting
drunk on the spiked punch bowl or sneaking drinks before going
to cheerlead seemed like a normal way for a teenager to have
a good time. But looking back, she sees the pain it caused
her. "I didn't have a clear head to make wise decisions
in dating and in life," she said.
Today when Barbara talks to teens with alcohol problems she
tells them, "You're not dirty. You had a bad experience
that you're covering. If you want to talk I'll listen and
keep your confidentiality."
Here are some disturbing statistics on young people abusing
alcohol (the first three points are from the "Screening
for Mental Health" website):
- Young
people who begin drinking before age 13 are four times as
likely to develop alcohol dependence as those who wait until
21
- 44%
of college students in a study admitted to binge drinking
(4-5 drinks in a row) during the last 2 weeks and 47% of
college students who drink say they do so to get drunk
- 8%
of 8th graders, 23% of 10th graders,
and 32% of 12th graders report having been drunk
during the past month
- Teens
who abuse alcohol are more likely to engage in sex and to
therefore to contract an STD.
- Gang
members use alcohol and drugs to get energy for gang warfare
and criminal activity
HOW
TO KNOW IF SOMEONE IS "A-N A-D-D-I-C-T?"
Alcoholism
is progressive. With time and without intervention it gets
worse and worse. Here are the 8 indicators of addiction (for
any substance or activity) that I look for applied to alcoholism.
I've grouped the symptoms under the acronym "AN ADDICT."
- Alone.
Do you ever drink alone?
- Non-premeditated.
Do you drink when you intended not to?
- Amnesia.
Have you ever "blacked out" or lost re-collection
of a period of time after drinking?
- Depend
on high. Do you look forward to the good feelings you
get from drinking? Have you tried to cut back and not been
able to?
- Distracted.
Do you feel guilty about your drinking? Has drinking
caused you problems with family, work, money, or the law?
- Increased
tolerance. Do you drink more alcohol then you used
to?
- Conceal.
Do you hide alcohol? Do you lie about your drinking
related behaviors?
- Tranquilizer.
Do you drink to calm nerves, forget about problems,
or boost a depressed mood?
FUNCTIONING
ALCOHOLICS
Unfortunately,
most people have a misconception that alcoholics are people
who are "sloppy drunk," they can barely stand or
walk, slur their words, and can't accomplish much. It''s
as if the only place alcoholics can be found is on skid row.
Actually,
most alcoholics are able to function pretty well, at least
most of the time. This was the case for Barbara. Even when
her alcoholism was at it's worst she got up every morning and opened up the restaurant
and did her job.
HARMFUL EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL
Alcohol
nearly ruined Barbara's life. It ruined her career as a very
successful hairdresser, cost her thousands of dollars, sent
her to jail, and left her suicidal. And it damaged her husband,
3 girls, and other family and friends.
Here are some the negative consequences of alcohol abuse:
- Heavy
drinking raises the risk for high blood pressure, heart
disease, certain cancers, accidents, violence, suicides,
birth defects, and mortality
- Drinking
is involved in 1/3 of suicides, ˝ of homicides, and ˝ of
child abuse cases
- Alcohol
is used to deny or defend against depression, anxiety, relationship
problems, traumatic memories, and the like and thus interferes
with the possibility for treatment
- Alcohol
lessens inhibitions and so is often involved in spousal
abuse and other episodes of rage
So keep
in the mind possibility that someone under the influence of
alcohol is at risk for suicide or other destructive behavior.
If you think someone might be suicidal or engage in an impulsive,
damaging behavior then ask!
INTERVENTION
An intervention
saved Barbara's life. Interventions need to be set up and
conducted by professional alcohol counselors, therapists,
or pastors who know how to do this. And this is what her
family did.
Many nights her girls said to her, "Mommy, please don't
drink. We don't like it when you do." And Barbara would
respond out of her denial, "Why? I just need a little
to relax. It's the same as my father always did after he
put in a hard days work. What's wrong with feeling good?"
Barbara said, "My girls were embarrassed when I picked
them up from school and I had been drinking. My mother felt
like she had raised me wrong. My husband didn't know what
to do. Things got so bad that my oldest daughter put water
in my wine. I knew they didn't want me to drink so I hid
my bottles of wine everywhere in the house, even in the toilet
tank."
"Finally, my family had enough and they contacted an
interventionist. They met with her beforehand for one month
to prepare for the meeting. My husband had to trick me to
get me to the meeting at my sister's house. When I walked
in and saw everyone waiting for me I knew what was going on.
Believe it or not, I had participated in other people's interventions!
I went along with it."
"My oldest daughter was so angry at me that she didn't
even attend. My middle daughter confronted me with the truth,
`I'm the one that took care of the family after dinner when
you were drunk.' My youngest daughter said, 'I don't even
know you mom.' My mother cried, 'You're
talented and beautiful, but so hurt inside and I can't fix
it.' My sister lamented, 'I miss you. Where did you go?'
and then she set a boundary, 'You
can't come visit me or my children anymore when you're under
the influence of alcohol.' And a friend offered her hand,
'You helped me when I was suicidal
and know I'm going to help you.' Even my boss was there to
say, 'You're job is waiting for you
when you come back from treatment.'"
RECOVERY
Recovery
from any addiction takes time. It's a process that the addict
needs to work at in the context of caring relationships, the
structure of a program like the 12 Steps, and a guide like
a sponsor. Often, the help of a psychotherapist is also needed
to deal with the deeper issues (like depression) that underlie
the addiction and any co-existing mental disorders.
After
her intervention Barbara went into a treatment facility -
for 3 months. She de-toxed. She
got sober. She was immersed in 12-step recovery, Christian
support, and psychotherapy. She was challenged to learn a
healthier spirituality because in treatment they took her
Bible away when she kept using it to preach at other people
and judge them. A friend gave her "The Life Recovery Bible"
and she started applying God's Words to her own addiction
and her own hurts.
THE
12 STEPS
The original 12 Steps are those of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Many other groups dealing with compulsive behavior problems
have successfully adapted these steps for their own recovery
process. Steps 1-3 are about surrendering to God because
your life is unmanageable. Steps 4-9 are the hard work and
include making a searching and fearless moral inventory of
your faults, confessing these to God and to your sponsor,
and making amends to the people that you've wronged. Steps
10-12 are about maintaining your recovery and includes
helping other people with their recovery.
RE-IINTEGRATING INTO LIFE AND FAMILY
Coming out
of a treatment center and going back into life and family and
work is very difficult for an addict in recovery. This is a
time that is very dangerous, as it's easy to relapse back into
alcoholic behavior. To help with this the addict needs to continue
in "after care" programs offered by the clinic, go to regular
12-Step meetings for accountability, rely on trusted friends
for support, and probably participate in regular psychotherapy.
Barbara did these things to stay in recovery, but it was difficult.
For instance, she said, "When I had been sober about one year
I complained about my family members. They were doing things
that irritated me. My sponsor told me to go to Al-Anon (a 12-Step
group for the "co-dependent" family members of alcoholics) for
six months and listen, not to say a word. They were talking
about me! I understood my family better."
NEW HOPE COUNSELING WITH ALCOHOL ABUSERS
If you think a caller or chatter has been drinking then ask.
If so ask them to set aside their alcohol while they talk to
you. Then make a determination if the person is sober enough
to have a rational conversation that will be beneficial and
remembered the next morning. If the person is drunk then make
a referral to AA and ask him or her to call back when sober.
You'll probably have to be persistent as drinking callers know
how to hang onto you and manipulate you to listen to their "drunk-a-log,"
as the babble on and on.
Before you set this limit be sure to consider the possibility
that the caller may be suicidal and if this may be the case
then ask. (Remember that 1/3 of suicides involve the use of
alcohol.)
NEW HOPE RESOURCES,
www.NewHopeNow.org
See the link "Articles"
on our public site home page for an index (uses same problem
categories as the Contact Sheets) of all the free self-help
articles and self-tests available. Here's
two examples which can be found in the category "Addictions."
New
Hope for Aholics" (New Hope Notes)
"Are
you A-N A-D-D-I-C-T?" (Self-Test)
NEW HOPE
REFERRALS
Go to the link "Referrals" and one of the categories is
"Addictions." Here's just a few of the entries for alcoholics:
Alcoholics Anonymous: 12-Step
meetings and information, 1-212-870-3400, www.aa-intergroup.org.
Hankinson Interventions:
Christian service coordinates interventions for addicts and
those acting irresponsibly, 1-800-894-9307
National Association for Christian
Recovery: Referrals to therapists, help starting a support
group, information, 1-714-529-6227, www.christianrecovery.com.
Overcomers Outreach: Christian
support groups, 1-800-310-3001, www.overcomersoutreach.org.
Sober Living by the Sea:
De-tox and residential treatment program for alcohol and drug
addiction with Christian track in Newport Beach, CA, 1-800-647-0042,
www.soberliving.com.
ADDITIONAL NEW HOPE TRAINING
On www.NewHopeNow.org/counselors
you'll find an archive of the "CE Notes" and exams for past
classes, "The A-B-C's
of New Hope Counseling Checklist" (which you'll need to
complete the exam) and "Responses
to Avoid in New Hope Counseling."
LET'S PRACTICE!
To receive CE credit and the satisfaction
of accomplishment take the CE Exam, which includes a role-play,
and turn it into SheilaS@CrystalCathedral.org.
Complete all 11 classes for 2002 and you'll receive a special
award at the end of the year!
Take the
Recovery
from Alcoholism CE Exam
